Respect - more than just a word.

First Time Sex

Sex – How do you know when you’re ready?
That’s a question only you can answer. When you feel like it’s the right time for you and you’re excited about it – go for it! If you don’t feel like you’re quite there yet, that’s fine! Don’t rush yourself. Sex should always be on your terms. Don’t let concerns about ‘being cool’ or pressure from other people decide it for you. It’s your choice.

Girl with flowers

Photo by Cydney Holm via Flickr

It’s all about trust.
In the months leading up to having sex for the first time, life can be pretty nice. You might have your eye on someone or you could be spending time getting to know a person or you’ll be getting to know yourself, becoming more comfortable and relaxed with your body. It can be pretty exciting. During this period you’ll be learning how to trust yourself and know what you want – like knowing when you do or don’t want to have sex. Click here to read more about sex and consent.

When it comes to sex, love or anything in-between – people who put you down or makes you feel unimportant don’t deserve your affections. Check out the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship here. 

You could spend time to getting know yourself – if that’s something you’re into.
By this we mean: masturbation. If that isn’t your thing, that’s okay – it’s all about what works for you. If you are interested in exploring yourself and what you like, masturbation can be really useful. Masturbation is a really normal, healthy sexual behaviour and knowing what feels good for you could be helpful when you decide to sex for the first time. It might also be a good idea to grab a mirror and take a good look at your bits!

Confused about women’s reproductive parts? Read this! How about men’s reproductive parts? Check this post out for more info.

Sex Myth #1 You Gotta Pop Your Cherry
Lies! Your cherry or what is actually called a Hymen, doesn’t get ‘popped’ when you have penetrative sex for the first time, it just stretches a little. Laci Green explains:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qFojO8WkpA[/youtube]

Wanna know more about your Hymen? Check out this website.

Sex Myth #2 First Time Sex ALWAYS Hurts
Not true. If you follow Laci Green’s tips, you’ll be fine! 
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdYtYveJI1Y[/youtube]

Important Technical Info: Contraception & Safe Sex
Before having sex for the first time, make sure you’re across the different types of contraception (super important!) and how to protect yourself from sexually transmitted infections/diseases.

You definitely don’t want to catch or spread any nasties through the act of love. Not nice. Part of being sexually active is getting regular check ups to make sure you’re healthy. Sexual Health Clinics can help you with that.

More Technical Info: Sexuality, Gender & Sex Acts
Check out these guides for some basic tips on different types of sexual acts, sexuality and gender or check out this post for more info.
Sexual Orientation
Oral Sex
Heterosexual Sex
Lesbian Sex
Anal Sex
Sex & Disabilities

If you have any questions and want to talk to an expert, we recommend heading to your local sexual health clinic. They’re here to help (and they’ve heard it all before)!

Want to read more about sex? Have a look at our pages on lovesex ,and sex and consent.

Relevant Links:

Wanna Have Sex? Consent 101
Relationship Violence
Body Image
Vagina, Vulva, Urethra – What The?! (info on girls reproductive parts)
Boys and Their Bits
Contraception
Sex and Alcohol

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